This workout had some moves I definitely haven't seen before. P90X Yoga had 90 minutes of back breaking, painful, yoga. P90X3, surprise, has 30 minutes of backbreaking yoga done at a speed almost sure to wind up with me concussed after bashing my head into my media console in some tree pose gone horribly wrong.
Yesterday's agility work wore out the stabilizing muscles in my feet. That means, come balance postures, I'm all over the place. I couldn't even get into tree. My five-year-old with ADD can get into tree and manage to stay there. I am the calm, cool center of the fucking universe! I am so chill that relative motion between particles ceases! It's just a tree pose! Are my thighs really so fat and so slippery I can't do this!? Bollocks.
Our workout buddies today included a mom of six ("showing all the moms how yoga can be done") who could be mistaken for Brittany whatserface from Joe Dirt and a guy who only reinforces my inherent distrust of men who wear Lululemon. The third of our intrepid exhibitors I actually find kind of sassy and refreshing and kind of calls Tony out on his shit. Good job, Stephanie. You have earned a name.
Top quotes from the evening:
What the hell is airplane? For fucks sake? You want me to do what? I can't put my head there!
In twisted half moon: Oh my GOD! MY GLUTE IS ON FIRE! FIGURATIVELY ON FIRE!
Tom's chair? What is going on? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THAT FUCK DOING?
THIS IS WHAT YOU PEOPLE DO TO ME! CAPS! YOU UNDERSTAND! CAPS!
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